KOHN for Life

Hi. My name is Allison Bunke. And I am an unrepentant
eavesdropper.

I know, I know. Shake your little pointy heads at me and waggle your fingers accusingly. *Hushed whisper* But it really won't make a difference. Wait, if it makes you feel better - how does "a keen observer of human nature" sound? Good? Good.

All right. Keen observer of human nature it is. KOHN fo short. But people, if I didn't "observe" keenly, would I have the opportunity to hear amazing conversations like this? I ask you...

Bethany walks into my parents' bedroom and notices Em crouched silently in a corner.

"Hey, Em," she greets the small mite cheerfully. "What you doing?"

Em sighs wistfully, her face propped on her pudgy hands. "I is sinking."

"You're sinking?" repeats Beth, bewildered.

Slightly annoyed, Em said, "No, I say I was stinking."

"You stink?!"

A long, pregnant silence reigns.

"I," Em finally said patronizingly, "was si...THINKING."

"Oh." Bethy said. And walked off.

Now, I ask you: is that not sheer gold? And would I not have been an absolute fool to walk off at the moment they started talking?

I rest my case.

Hi. My name is Allison Bunke. And I am a KOHN. (You can be a Kohn too - life is sooo much more fun).

A Lyrical Masterpice: Or Not

I love music. Apparently, so have many others throughout history - you know, those no-names like...um, say Beethoven. Or Bach. Other little people like that. Some have even been so moved by music that they composed lyrical words in praise of it...

I am one of those people. Now, I did not say that they were good lyrical words - but they are words. And they are mine. So that's a start.

Right? Right. (I like you guys. Always so agreeable).

Without further ado: "The Spirit of Music" (Please. PLEASE. Hold the applause until afterwords. Thanks).

Lilting, coaxing, pleading, teasing
The witchery of Music lures me
To an enchanted world of magic and wonder.
A merry, elfin tune, ever changing, here
One moment, gone the next
Peeking 'round a corner, singing
Out, “Catch me if you can!”
I reach out longingly, stretching my
Hands toward the elusive promise of
Music – almost capturing, but not
Quite, nearly grasping but never
Totally. Then, like the will-o-the-wisp
She is, Music suddenly
Turns – and captures me.

 

 





There ya go. I know y'all didn't ask for this...then again, how would I know? Y'all are a pretty quiet bunch. One never knows. Therefore, we shall assume that you DID ask for this masterpiece, and that you have been on your knees, begging for this...yeah, that sounds about right. In that case:

You are so welcome.

Hitler in a Pink Tutu

You've heard of Adolf Hitler, of course? Of course. Well, I know someone who makes him look like Mother Teresa. Her name is Emily. And she lives in my house.

Little Adolpha Hitlerette (a.k.a. Em) does not look tyrannical at first glance. A tiny, red-haired moppet, Em looks like a mini philosopher, with her old-soul eyes and a stare that can make a grown man cringe. However, do not let the big, brown eyes fool you. She can rule with a rod of iron - and frequently does.

One of my favorite sights is seeing Em gesture imperiously at Jerm, who at six foot, absolutely dwarfs her, and lay down the law to him. "Come here, son," she commands grandly.

Bemused, Jerm comes, and she looks him over, then motions him away. "Okay, I doesn't want you anymore."

Jerm grins and tousles her hair, "All right, Your Majesty." Bristling, she draws herself up to her full height of two feet and glares at him for a long five seconds, before stalking away silently.

This is the Tiny Tyrant. But is this just one of the many sides of the complex one we call Em.

Here is another side:

 

 

And this...this is the side we love. The one in which Adolph Hitler is sweetly ensconced in a pretty, pink tutu.

Pink tutu = magical personality changer. Too bad Hitler didn't have that option...

Vote - Early and Often!!

Hello blogging world!

I have a humongous favor to ask my hundreds of faithful followers...(what's that? oh, you mean...so, you're saying I don't have a hun...)

Okay, then. I have something to ask of my dozens of...(What? That's too high t...)

Fine. Mr. Bossy (A.k.a. The Little Voice in My Head) says I can't say hundreds when I really have 10. (But what he doesn't know won't hurt him, eh?)

All righty then. If all one hundred of you would march over to the link I will provide below, read my essay, and vote for it at the bottom of the page, I would be forever in your debt. Just so all one hundred of you know, this can also be a daily thing, so...hint, hint.

http://scholarships.collegeplus.org/essays/241-the-written-dream

Thanks ever so much!! (Take that Mr. Bossy)

Romance and Cake

 

 

I like weddings. So does my mom. And my little sisters. And my brothers (surprisingly). To be perfectly honest though, I think we all like weddings for different reasons.

I just love the lovely atmosphere of weddings. Soft music in the background, the muted glow of candlelight, and the restrained feeling of nervous anticipation rustling about the room. Finally, a resounding chord crashes through the almost silence as a white-gowned figure appears and floats towards the one she will soon call "husband." It's a time of celebration, a holy joining of two lives into one, and a lasting covenant, "until death do us part."

My mom likes weddings because she is getting ideas for mine. (In the far, distant, and unforeseeable future)  ;-) She searches through the program, "Ooo, Allison, look at this! This would be perfect. Oh, but I'm not sure about the decorations...the pillars are pretty though." When she has compiled her little, mental checklist, then and only then, will she relax and watch the proceedings. (I love this little ritual because I will be a HORRIFIC wedding planner...I don't even have the stinkin' colors picked out. I have (much) younger, female friends who have their entire weddings planned and who look at me pityingly when the subject comes up).

My sisters love the dresses, especially those worn by the flower girls and bridesmaids. Colors are discussed earnestly as eager eyes drink in the different furbelows and flounces. Then come the accusing glances: "So. When are YOU getting married, so we can be in your wedding?"

Slighty taken aback, I answer, "Um. I have no clue...but won't you guys even miss me??

"Yes." Hannah answers in monotone. "I will miss you very much..." Her face brightens. "In my own room!"

My brothers just come for the cake. No cake, they no come. So, when I heard dim rumors that they were discussing weddings, I was flabbergasted. I looked down the long table we were sharing with friends at a wedding reception and demanded details. Turns out, they WERE discussing weddings...with the participants dressed up as cartoon characters. Mid-sentence, one stopped and remarked, "And this is gooood cake."

But no matter the reasoning, I think everyone loves a wedding. And with good reason...where else can you find romance? And free style ideas? And beautiful dresses? AND gooood cake?

Yes. I rest my case. =)

Why am I here?

Have you ever wondered why you were put on this earth? Lest this set off a lemming-like thought process, "Yeah. Why in the whole world was I pu...I'm gonna go jump off a cliff. Make myself feel better..., " let me clarify. =)

I don't mean this in a purely Christian sense, though as a Christian, obviously the first answer would be, "To glorify Him, and Him alone." No. I mean - why? And what? What am I, as an unique individual, with specific likes and dislikes, loves, tastes, and interests...what am I put here on earth to do?

Sometimes, as a member of a 7.7 billion population, it's easy to think, "My stars. Okay, I could write a great mystery, about a cold, logical detective called...oh, wait. Curse you, Arthur Conan Doyle. Or...I could compose soul-stirring melodies like..." This usually ends in cursing the entire human race for being too original. Leonardo da Vinci? Really? This guy gives overachievers a bad name. I mean, c'mon. Leave something for the rest of us to do, why don'tcha?!

But then I stop and consider: the very hairs of my head are numbered by the Creator of the Universe. He called me by name in my mother's womb. He makes no mistakes, and most certainly, does not make exact replicas or robots. We are all "fearfully and wonderfully made" by the God who SPOKE the world into existence, who painted the radiant sky, purely for his pleasure, and who gives all mankind a desire to create, to discover, to be an individual.

I think, if we were all honest, we each cherish a secret dream in our hearts, one that we wouldn't dare share for fear of being ridiculed, or worse yet, taken seriously and forced to try...and perhaps fail. Isn't that the scariest thing in the world? To attempt one's greatest dream, only to fail from inadequacy? Far safer is the route so many take, hugging their dreams to themselves in that half-desperate knowledge of, "I could. I just don't want to."

My comfort zone is small. I know that. But I'd like to be willing to stretch my comfort zone to it's limits, so it's limits can expand. Is it scary? Unbelievably so. Do I often crawl back into the safe confines? Embarrassingly often. But I think that's human...and something I'll always have to deal with. Far better to have tried - and perhaps failed - than to live your life with "what-might-have-beens."

Now to take my own sage advice...think I'll go give writing another shot. Move over, Sir Athur Conan Doyle. ;-)

Off-beat College

I have had many reactions to my degree. The main one involves first a blank stare, then an uncomprehending nod of assent as I regale my poor conversational partner with a rehearsed monologue, starting with, "I am in college. It's a program called Collegeplus! ONLINE. Yes, online..." and ending with a firm, "And I'm excited about it." They smile encouragingly as they edge away, eyes darting about for a normal college student to talk to.

The second one I enjoy even more. I had one guy nod politely, even encouragingly, through my spiel, interject a couple shrewd questions, then ask inquiringly, "So, I mean that's super cool. Saving money, doing the degree faster...awesome. But like...have you ever considered a real school?"

No. Way. Like, there's REAL schools out there? Homeschoolers really are sheltered. ;-)

The third one though...that's the one that really warms my heart. I will look into the warm eyes of someone who is genuinely interested and stumblingly begin my speech. I will be stopped mid-way through my half-defensive monologue by two brief words.

"How neat." In disbelief, I will look up, just to check to see if they really mean it, only to find:

They. Really. Do.

I will be the first to admit that my degree is sort of ...different. I might even go so far as to admit that it is slightly off-beat. However, Collegeplus! has given me the opportunity to do a 4 year degree in 2 years, for about one-fourth of the cost, and at a self-driven pace. It has allowed me to still live at home and enjoy my family for just a little bit longer. And it even offers cool opportunities like the one below:

http://www.collegeplus.org/blog/2012/08/06/is-a-25000-scholarship-worth-an-hour-of-your-time-if-not-dont-read-this

And best of all, I have the time to do what I love best of all: write. Please, if I have intrigued you at all (or merely made you laugh, cringe, or a random conglommeration of all three), check out the link, and just see if Collegeplus! suits your college needs at all. And hey...if you do enroll, take it from me.

You will never lack for interesting conversational partners.

Promise.